Case Study : The Child Who Hated Making Mistakes
Helping a Perfectionist Embrace Learning Through Mistakes
Background:
Emma (not her real name) was a bright, enthusiastic Year 3 student who loved learning but had one major challenge - she hated making mistakes. If she got a question wrong or if her handwriting wasn’t perfect, she would cross it out repeatedly or refuse to continue. In class, she would watch others work first before writing anything herself, and if she was corrected, she would get frustrated or even tear up.
The Challenge:
Emma’s perfectionism was holding her back. She was so focused on getting everything ‘right’ that she avoided challenges altogether. She was reluctant to attempt more difficult questions and she would spend too long perfecting one sentence rather than getting her ideas down. Her mindset was: “If I can’t do it perfectly, I won’t do it at all.”
The Approach:
Normalising Mistakes – I introduced Emma to famous ‘mistake-makers’ like Albert Einstein and J.K. Rowling, showing her that even the most successful people fail and learn from it.
Using Growth Mindset Language - Instead of saying, “You got that wrong,” I’d say, “That’s a great mistake! What can we learn from it?” We also practised adding yet to her thoughts: “I can’t do this… yet.”
Mistake Challenges - We played a game where we celebrated ‘great mistakes’ each lesson. If she made a mistake and learned from it, she earned a star. This reframed mistakes as progress rather than failure.
Encouraging Drafts and Edits - In writing, I encouraged her to do ‘messy’ drafts first and taught her that even authors don’t get it perfect the first time. She started seeing value in refining rather than avoiding.
Affirmations & Reflection - We practised affirmations like “Mistakes help me grow” and reflected on mistakes at the end of each lesson to reinforce her learning.
The Transformation:
Over time, Emma started taking more risks in her work. She no longer panicked if she got a question wrong and even began answering questions aloud in class. One day, she proudly showed me a piece of writing with a few crossed-out words and said, “I made mistakes, but I fixed them!” It was a breakthrough moment.
Children like Emma need to see mistakes as stepping stones, not stop signs. Encouraging a growth mindset, modelling resilience and creating a safe space for failure can help perfectionist learners thrive.
If your child is held back by a fear of making mistakes, you’re not alone - I’m here to help. With gentle guidance and the right tools, children can learn that mistakes are stepping stones to success. Let’s help them grow in confidence and embrace learning with courage.
